The games we play

Life can be viewed as a series of games that we play: some, because we like playing them,  some because we think we are good at it,  some because we are put in the field and forced to play and others,  well because we are just bored and have to play them to keep ourselves occupied. Single player games where we are competing only against ourselves or chasing a score. Multi player games where we are competing with others,  and team games where are both competing and cooperating with others. 

One push back could be that the rules of a game are usually objective but the rules of the games within life rarely are.

Maybe,  maybe not.  But many of the times could it be that,  we just have the ignorance of the rules of the games that we are playing?

The games we play change as we trudge along the path of life.  We figure out what we are good at and what we aren't.  We just aren't wired to play games that we aren't good at and keep losing.  So we end up trying to choose the ones we are relatively better at.  But so do others!  So the corollary is that,many of the games we play along the path of life, are of adaptive difficulty. You win at a level,  and the prize often is a level of higher difficulty.

The more you play a particular game,  the more difficult it is to come out of it. Because there's a reason you have played the game that much. Either because you were good at it or the other games seemed even less appealing to you. Or because you didn't start other games early enough. There are only so many games,  even of orthogonal types, that we can play after all. The game of life is all about tradeoffs.

And also because starting new games require time and effort. To get a basic level of skill even. Time , after all,  is the only consistently ever depleting resource in all the games you play.

And because playing new games, even when you have the skills, may require admission into certain clubs. You may need extraordinary skills to be part of those or you may need to know the gatekeepers.

And then you play some games because you know you just aren't good enough to play certain other games,  where others just have too much of a competitive advantage over you, or atleast you think they do. Or sometimes it isn't even that. You are just too afraid to play anything and frozen. And at the same time, because you just have to keep playing something or the other. Rat races happen because you need to play some game after all!

True,  not every game is played for competing. Some,  you play maybe to just see what you like playing.  But in some way , you are still measuring yourself at some level.  Except maybe for the smaller periods of breaks between those games when you just want to relax. But relexation isn't usually an end in itself. Its what you do in between the games you play.  Not until you are too old and can't compete atleast. 

Some games are like roulette, you bet, you spin and you hope. You don't have any control over the outcomes.  Others are like poker , you control the outcome to some degree but it also depends on the cards you are dealt. Some are like chess , you can theoretically plan every single move if you are good at it.  ( As an aside, while its chess that I played and enjoyed while I was young,  its poker that I enjoyed when I became a bit more older. And in the real world game of life, I wonder if it's roulette that I often end up playing.  Not that i am a big risk taker but maybe I feel better giving away any locus of control than being overawed by having it or an illusion of it and finding that isn't good enough.)

And how does one play the game of life? Some play it with the motto that winning is all that matters,  even if it means bending the rules , others with a similar motto but playing within the rules,  if only just in letter.  Some play with an every leverage and advantage that can be used , should be used mindset.  For others,  fair play is everything.  

For some,  being loved by the crowds, the vast expanse of strangers and pseudo strangers that inhabit our lives,  doesn't matter at all. Others play precisely for that validation. For some,  its ok not to be aesthetic while winning, its whether you can get the win or not that matters,  Others find joy just by playing the game a certain aesthetic way

But in real life,  much of this is also a function of the rules of the game itself.  Some games are meant to be played only if you want to win them,  and others, even if a super small percentage of it,  are played just for the joy. 

As in sports, there is no way to win in any game at any stage, if you think you do not belong to that stage.  Like they say in sports, does someone think they belong to the big league when playing the big big games? Thinking that way won't result in success but the converse is true,  if you think you don't belong,  you just can't win. 

And neither is it possible if you think what's the point of it all.  In that case, you are just better off choosing another game. While you are playing a game,  you need to be convinced of both its relevance and your competence at the game.

One of the big rules of being an adult, is that no one ( except for your parents and if you are lucky enough,  maybe a loved one and perhaps some some super close friends) is going to make you feel important,  if you do not feel important yourself.  No one is going to make you feel relevant either in any context,  if you don't feel relevant yourself.  

Holds true for all the games we play in life.  No one is going to convince you that the game or games you are playing are relevant or important.  It is what you make of it.  There is no right answer,  or even a single answer, across time , to the question of whether you are playing the right games, the games that are more relevant to you and important to you.  While you are playing them however,  you do need to think that they are the ones that matter the most to you. 

Its in those small little breaks between them ( and sometimes you may even be too engrossed or occupied with the game,  to even figure out there are these breaks between them) where you need to figure out which games are most relevant to you , most important to you,  most fulfilling in the long run-- to quit the ones that don't seem to be and focus on the ones that are.