Just a few thoughts

Being in a flight is a good time to reflect on things,  on yourself,  on the world , your learnings and with a new year coming up,  what you would like to do going ahead. In that spirit of reflection , tried my hand at reflecting and writing 25 things about myself in the spirit of the upcoming year in the flight I was in, yesterday from Madras to Bombay.  Ok towards the end I just cheat a little bit to make it to 25 by splitting up points a bit but that's ok I guess :) So here goes: in no particular order: 1. I have always been reticent about expressing my desires/ ambitions etc I figured this has been true right from my childhood except for maybe a time i can't even remember  maybe when i was too young Is it good? Probably not.  Expressing your desires, ambitions etc likely helps ( with a certain judicious balance ofcourse) in every way from professional to personal.   But yes this has been me 2. I have always had a DGAF streak in me Yes thi...

What are some things I am good analyzing? What are some things I am not? One thing I certainly like,  if not ( and probably decently good at in atleast some of them) good at analyszing is things which are "abstract". Finance,  economics,  math, even random philosophical gyan and may be to a lesser extent stuff like sociological phenomena,  psychology What do i suck at? Anything to actually do with the physical world in some sense! might have some knowledge of it in certain cases but either uninterested or just totally useless at it or both.  Physics- meh, Body language of people- suck at figuring out,  How cars work or comparing two of them- not much idea or not much interest either. All physical worldish stuff in different ways! This is a bit of a detour, but by a funny twist of fate ( or rather due to one among the many sucky and uninformed choices i have made in my life)  i actually spent 4 years doing mechanical engineering btw (Very physical world...

Strange how different you can feel in a matter of a day or even in a matter of few hours Started yesterday ( Friday) on a not so great note. At some point had the "what the hell am I doing" feeling. As the day progressed, and it was a super busy day, felt progressively much better. About everything,  myself,  the world around me, about hope, and  pretty much most things, when I headef to sleep Today was the reverse. Woke up early by my standards for a Saturday ( despite going to bed late the previous night) feeling good about myself.  There were things to do but i also had a lot of time, or so i thought.Felt relaxed and hopeful to begin the day.  As it turned out,  just ended up feeling progressively worse through the day. Nothing worthwhile done either, though in my mind i thought I would get a lot done. The highs of yesterday giving to a more deflated feeling at the end of the day The diary entryist nature of the post aside, what is the point of this post...

The title of this post and its contents will follow how my brain generally operates - which is this: the parts can be compartmentalized, the parts don't neccesarily go in sequence or in a super planned way but the whole, i don't know about coherent, but meaning it should have. Something deeper than the parts ........................................ What is my anchor? Thats a difficult question to answer in the best of times.  A relatively easier question to answer is should my anchor be internal - what I truly want- is there such a thing at all ---- or external ( do I "benchmark" or compare myself against others)? But who or which group do I benchmark or compare myself against? When younger,  these questions were easier to answer.  You had a whole lot of people fairly similar to you in some way or the other. As you grow older, your own situations become more and more unique. In ways professional and personal . Sometimes you may have wanted to that it way but many time...

Was reading through a couple of own posts on this blog, one about a year and a half ago,  and the other just a little over 2 years )    This was one written a little more than 2 years ago and i am surprised how well it was written! ( yeah i am narcisistic enough to praise my own self!) Revisiting some of what was written vs the now: "have that mix of optimism about blue sky scenarios and that ok "so what,  we'll deal with it" feeling with respect to the pessimistic versions" Hmm..not sure that i feel the same now, atleast on the first part "yet enough to beleive in the magic of the world and that feeling that destiny has good things in store for me." Maybe. maybe not.  likely not. Again i say this with no sense of unhappiness or anything,  just a matter of facted-ness  "I think I can count on the higher force from time to time, to bestow some good luck" As long as its not bad luck,  i am fine.  and i say that unironically and actually with s...