Goals, validation, values......

Many people are quite sure what they want in life. What they think is a good career, a great personal life, what they would like to achieve in the 75-80 odd yrs that they live and so on. What to do this month, this year, this decade . In some sense, even the ability to form goals , in a counter intuitive sort of way partly involves the ability to plan several years ahead ( whether they come to fruition or not is another story)

I think on this count, on most facets of life, I dont have *that *clear cut goals. Even in areas, where I do to some extent, such as career, I wouldnt claim that 20 years before, this is what I wanted. Or that I can claim to answer now " 20 years later, what is it that I want?" ....the only thing is here, may be I have broad ideas on what kind of thing I like to do, and what I dont, what may be in a very very ideal world I would like to become etc.

As a self proclaimed introvert, one would think I require little external validation. This is true in some facets for sure, and I certainly do quite a few things just because *I enjoy it* and not to fit in or to have some kind of external validation.  (The desire to fit in IS actually GOOD THOUGH from the perspective of providing an anchor to your behaviours, your goals etc).

Yet I am not totally immune to external validation. Others may not appreciate what I do and I can still live with that in general. But I am also very prone to self doubt in some way, to questioning myself, "Why am I doing this" ? "Am I doing the right thing" ?  So if those doubts are kindled, either due to implicit or explicit actions or events, then I can be quite doubtful of myself. External validation is great from the perspective of dispelling those doubts.

I would say it is possible to do stuff on a day to do basis on purely internal motivation but when it comes to some kind of long term motivation, i think I do need some kind of external validation. And lack of that over the long run can make me question my very goals

One way of validation is to have a strong values or belief system, which forms an anchor for your goals. But here again, what are my real core values? Sure there is a limited set of values which I adhere to most of the times, say being honest , just as an example.... But beyond those limited set of core values?. What are the values or thought system that I have, which can form a anchor for forming goals without periodic bouts of self doubts? Ultimately it is in a way circular though-- your values , apart from being a product of what you have imbued over the years from surroundings, are also a function of what you want to do in your life....

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